Skaag is preparing for a life saving, long due trip around the globe
I barely remember the last time I took a vacation long enough to actually be considered a proper vacation. I’m pulling out some savings, packing a bag, and leaving the country for a while on the road to destiny (on whose path lie the following places: France, Netherlands, and the USA).
My close friends who know about my personal ordeals of late, know just how much I need this break. You also know how much of a Duracell(c) battery I am… So enough is enough, I plan to clean my head and start a fresh new life; get rid of the negative charge, keep my positive charge, and hop into the bunny.
They say time is the fire in which we burn
I am wasting my time. I keep finding things to occupy myself with, such as jobs that do not really pay the amount of work I put in. Or customers that do not really know what they want, and then torture me with their own business insecurities and mistakes.
There must be something principally wrong in the way I manage my life, if these things keep happening to me repeatedly. I keep putting my fingers on mistakes I make, and fixing the mistakes, but there are always more, and it makes me realize that it will not be until i’m dead that all the mistakes are fixed.
Which puts the whole thing in question, really. Maybe instead of fixing my own behavior, and mistakes I make, I should accept myself and learn to live with it. However, it seems like my environment does not accept me. So perhaps the mistake I am making is that I keep surrounding myself with people who simply do not approve of me the way I am.
It is ok if some person wants you to change just 2% of who you are, in order for him to accept you 100%. But what happens when people want you to change more than 50% of who you are?
And this brings me to yet another question: What happens if I myself, want to change who I am at more than 50% rate? Happily, this is not the case; I am quite content with who I am, and left to my own devices I beleive I would not need to change much. In order to test this theory, I would have to clone myself x 10,000 times, move the clones to a small secluded village somewhere, and live there among my clones, and then find all the faults. This situation should, in theory (my theory) make all my internal conflicts float to the surface. Once pinpointed, I would be able to kill my clones, and live as a better being, more because I feel whole inside, than being truly perfect in an absolute manner.
Existance is shit. Who needs it anyway? Are we all just cowards for not taking our own pointless lives? Do we live for the pleasure of another fine meal, some orgasm here and there, a handshake with a friend? And, What are friends anyway?
Ok so I have a blog again, and again I have a place to spill my bilge, which is better than any friend or girlfriend. Many can listen, but nobody responds with the elegance of a blog software: “Successfuly posted. Thank you.”
Ok that’s it. It’s been a while since i’ve updated this journal. A lot has happened. I’ve found the love of my life, and we’re engaged, I’ve opened my own company, and things are not looking too bad. I’ve also created my own personal blog here: http://www.skaag.net
Looks like i’m no longer going to update this blog. It was nice, LiveJournal, but with all due respect (and a lot is due), I am on my own now 😉
Thanks a lot! 🙂